In African culture Ilobola over years has been a procedure to be followed when a boy wants to wed a girl of his dreams and an exchange in assets was seen as a little token of appreciation to the bride’s family for the upbringing of their daughter. But today marrying someone leaves one reeling in debts; one would swear you buying a cruise ship or a flight.
Since I’m rapidly approaching thirty and would love to be a family man someday I took it upon myself to ask kwabaphambili (those who have been there) about the experience especially seeing the high rate of divorce and relevancy in paying ilobola nowadays and of course it’s overpricing.
A cow range from 2-grand to 4-grand and if the in-laws say 15 cows which is a norm that will set you back in an excess of R 30K – R 60K
A friend of mine who double as a mentor and successful business man took me through his woeful and bitter experience about love, ilobola and all that is included.
The heart does not choose who to fall for and funny how it can also resent the one who was so dearest to it at a blink of an eye. I had been dating this woman for ages now and much as I wanted to make her my wife all things changed when I discovered that she cheated on me that’s when I called it quits. I let her run one of my franchises, bought her a sport car and foot the education bill for her child (who is not mine)”
It’s alright I fully understand that majority of kids out there are born out of wedlock and innocent bachelor’s have to play a role of step-dad, all in the name of love.
“When my uncles went to ask for her hand in marriage I was shocked by her family demands, R100K was what they wanted with R80K being their lowest price they’d settle for; these for a woman who doesn’t have matric, has iveza ndlebe (child born out of wedlock) whom I’ve been taking care of, umabuy’emendweni (marriage returnee) and living off my companies revenues.
The family was without a doubt greedy and ungrateful and I knew I had to cut ties when one of my uncle boldly told me “mshana labantu bazokusenga uze uphume igazi (nephew, these people are going to milk you till you bleed)”
Today she has two extra kids, unmarried and abafana bangena bephuma (pretty much a hoe)
I instructed my uncles to leave them as that was unreasonable, the question I had in my-mind was banayo yini bona leyomali (do they have that kind of amount)
Luckily for me I met my mutual partner whom her family didn’t ask for any penny (which is a first) except that I should treasure their flower. This woman who is now my wife had went to the best of school money can buy, had a successful business and from a well run family all she needed was a loving husband which is where I came in.
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